Cindy Crawford candidly shares her childhood experiences witnessing the illness and passing of her younger brother, Jeff, and the profound impact it had on her life and family dynamics, including survivor guilt and the importance of seeking closure.
In a poignant interview on "Kelly Corrigan Wonders: About Your Mother," supermodel Cindy Crawford opened up about her childhood experience of losing a sibling to leukemia, revealing the profound impact it had on her family.
Crawford described growing up in a home with a sick sibling, unaware of the severity of her brother Jeff's illness. At the age of 8, she watched as her brother battled leukemia for two years before passing away.
The diagnosis and subsequent loss divided the family, with Crawford's mother taking Jeff to receive treatment hours away while her father worked to pay the bills. Crawford and her sisters were "pawned off" on extended family members.
Crawford shared that she and her sisters experienced survivor guilt, feeling that they should have been the ones to pass away instead of Jeff. They also had nightmares about the tragedy for years to come.
In adulthood, Crawford realized that her mother had consciously decided to keep pushing forward for her other three children, something Crawford only understood later in her life after having her own son.
Crawford's mother had grieved properly and was able to help her children deal with their grief, instilling in them the importance of seeking closure.
"When he died, obviously that was devastating for the whole family," Crawford said. "I think for my mother, she was able and chose to really grieve properly... She has a very strong faith. So she was able to move through grief."
As a child, Crawford had felt guilty for surviving her brother, but her mother assured her that they were happy she was alive.
"I remember her saying, ‘Well, I had three other kids looking at me like to lead them through this.' And I think because of us, she kind of got out of bed," Crawford recalled.
Crawford admitted that she and her sisters felt guilt for outliving their younger brother, especially because their father had desperately wanted a boy.
"I'm not sure [my parents] definitely wanted four kids, but they wanted a boy. My dad wanted a boy… The fourth was the boy. And I think there was a lot of guilt," Crawford said.
Only in adulthood has Crawford been able to fully come to peace with that guilt, acknowledging at the time that she needed to know she was still wanted by her mother despite Jeff's loss.
"My mom wouldn't have known to say this," Crawford said. "She was 26 years old and had just lost a child… I needed to hear, 'Yes, we're so sad that Jeff died, but we're so happy you're here.' And, of course, my mom didn't know how to say that. But then, through doing the work myself, I was able to ask my mom to say that now, as an adult… just to kind of close the loop on that feeling."
Crawford expressed that sharing this moment with her sisters was a cathartic experience, bringing closure to a profound chapter in their lives.
"It wasn't like this staring in the eyes… serious moment… the words still resonated in a way," she said.
