Former NBA head coach Stan Van Gundy has opened up about the devastating loss of his wife Kim, who took her own life in August 2023. Van Gundy shares his grief, the complexity of mental illness, and his determination to honor her memory.
Nearly a year after the unexpected death of his beloved wife, former NBA head coach Stan Van Gundy has courageously shared his profound grief and the heartbreaking details surrounding her passing. In a candid interview on the "South Beach Sessions" podcast, Van Gundy reveals that his wife, Kim, took her own life at the age of 61.
"I don't care how long it goes. I can't imagine that I'll ever get over that. It was devastating," Van Gundy confides.
The former New Orleans Pelicans coach recounts their 35-year marriage, emphasizing the deep bond they shared. "I never, ever envisioned that I was going to live another day in my life without Kim," he says, his voice trembling with emotion. "I knew she was going through a tough time, but I still never envisioned that happening."
Van Gundy delves into the complexity of his emotions, grappling with both the pain of his loss and the guilt that weighs heavy on his heart. "I was blessed with an unbelievable woman and a great family, and my responsibility in life, my primary responsibility, was and is to this day was to take care of those five people in every way possible," he explains. "My wife reached a point of despair and hopelessness and whatever else where her life and her life with me was not worth living anymore. And my responsibility was to take care of her and to give her a great life, and I failed in that."
Despite seeking therapy, Van Gundy acknowledges the ongoing struggle to reconcile his personal feelings with the reality of his wife's mental illness. "I was not always a great listener or as sensitive as I should have been," he laments. "And I know I wasn't always the best husband I could have been."
In the aftermath of this tragedy, Van Gundy is determined to live a life that would make his wife proud. "Her values were better than mine. She taught me a lot," he says. "And I want to live her values and a life that she would be proud of."
Van Gundy met his wife in 1984 while coaching basketball at Castleton State College in Vermont. He fondly recalls her unwavering support throughout his career. "She was just a great, great woman," he says, his voice filled with love and sorrow. "I loved every minute that I had with her."
Van Gundy's story serves as a poignant reminder of the insidious nature of mental illness and the profound impact it can have on individuals and families. It is a testament to the importance of seeking help, offering support to those struggling, and embracing open and honest conversations about mental health.
Through his vulnerability and resilience, Stan Van Gundy continues to honor his wife's memory and inspire others who are coping with loss and the complexities of mental health.
